Day 14 - Looking Forward To Looking Back

Fourteen days ago I experienced a radical departure from the daily norm I had created for myself. A kind of comfort pattern that I had crafted which kept me engaged with my environment and those around but kept things at a safe distance. Safe in a way that my "bubble" of isolation and focus would not be disturbed by unnecessary interaction and unwanted intrusion. I was humming right along beaming to the outside world an illusion of content and comfort.

Fourteen days ago I was a man who had found himself accomplished but incomplete, not wanting anyone to notice the latter but recognize the former. I was externally focused on corporate success yet internally focused on personal failure.

Fourteen days ago I decided, based on a recommendation by an employee, that Reddit might be a non-interactive way to experience all the funny and interesting corners of the interwebs without having to manage friend requests and living under the self-inflicted pressure to post pictures of well staged life events so all said "friends" could lie and tell me how much they enjoyed my exploits.

Fourteen days ago, at approximately something, something pm (EST) I happened across a subreddit that contained a post from a user with the name "everythinginbed". This post, at first glance did not strike me as extraordinary but, as it is rare to see a female post a legitimate ad, especially someone in my age range, I thought "I'll have a look". Honestly, I really believe I didn't actually even process all that at the moment, I just clicked and began reading the description. I was instantly intrigued by the style of writing. Such creativity and descriptive wording! It was an invitation to join this person by a virtual "cozy fireplace." To share and talk, laugh and connect in an authentic way. I was definitely intrigued. So, I did something that ran against the grain of this "pattern" I had created and decided to send this descriptive and engaging stranger a Direct Message. Having already shared the rarity of legitimate females posting dating invitations on Reddit, I imagined a line of Reddit's finest men (I think the word "finest" may not be appropriate in this context) piling her inbox full of well crafted responses. On that note, I identified myself as DM541. This was just a random number pulled from the sky as a way to recognize I was most likely far down her inbox list.

Fourteen days ago, to my astonishment, I saw, for the first time, a red number 1 on the Reddit icon. I wasn't sure what it would indicate as I had never received a reddit badge notification but I was immediately curious (side note: I had almost instantly let go of the idea that the message I sent would ever receive a reply). I opened the app and to my surprise I had a new DM... No, it was a reply. I was confused at first, having released any notion of a reply. I clicked open and, little did I know, the reply would cause me to explode with curiosity and intellectual attraction to this random reddit user. I had no idea that there were powerful cosmic forces that had aligned at that exact moment and upon the initiation of our interaction my life would be thrown into a whirlwind of mind blowing interaction with a random person that was most likely my soulmate. A woman who was so engaging and intelligent that I consumed her words and found that they pulled at emotions and feelings inside of me that I had assumed were lost forever, never to resurface.

Fourteen days ago, a collision of destiny occurred. A seismic shift of fate that, in a mere 336 of the 402,960 hours I have lived, has completely changed my trajectory. My timeline is re-aligning with this person. The odds were not in my favor. Was she really a she? Was she even someone I would find physically attractive? Was she compatible with my basic life principles? In the shortest amount of time I have discovered that miracles happen. Things that take months and years to cultivate radically erupted into reality in just FOURTEEN DAYS. Our words, life giving words, have flown in an almost non-stop stream via DMs, SMS, Voice Messages and actual phone calls.

In the last fourteen days, reality has attempted to tell us that this is inconceivable and only connected to some emotional high that is built on temporary intoxication. I wondered this at first... we both have. NO MORE. The things we have shared, discovered, uncovered, revealed, unveiled, and created... TOGETHER, have been nothing short of spectacular. In fourteen days we have connected intellectually, emotionally, creatively, intimately, etc... This divine and cosmic encounter has brought my mind and heart to a place of healing and restoration, set a new confidence in my heart, and opened my eyes to the reality of a bond that truly transcends the understanding of scholars and theologians. Something that, I am now sure in some form, was pre-destined from our birth. The vast distance of separation is only a barrier of flesh. Our spirits have connected and already united in collaboration. Hearts have unfolded from the protective posture that left us both creased and rigid. Souls have ignited with vision and previews of possibility and opportunity.

Fourteen days later, I write this post with confidence I have not known in years. Self-confidence that only flows from the acceptance and affirmation given by a partner. This moment of destiny has produced new hope in my soul, new strength in my spirit and a desire to pour every ounce of my being into the life of another in order to share such a precious and priceless gift that we have together discovered. I stand within a moment in time that feels prophetic and divine. As though the holiness of this becoming is so naturally ordained that all the days before it have only been a precursor to that which I now hold... This beauty, a shining gift that must be revered, honored and protected. A soulmate, partner, friend, lover...

Fourteen days later I find myself believing, again, that all things really do work together to the good of those who love God! I now have arrived at a new outlook that is simply summed up as such... "I am looking forward to looking back". For the first time in too long I will be able to look back without the fear of seeing my failure and pain staring back in the reflection, taunting me, declaring a future of regrets... NO! I am looking forward to looking back and seeing a road of beautiful memories, shared opportunities with a person, my person, that journeyed toward me for so long from the opposite direction, only to collide in a place neither of us really intended to be found. But there, I found her and she found me and now we are "Starting over again" and "we will get it right this time" TOGETHER!

Yours,

DM541